This question comes up often when homeschooling is mentioned. I usually brush it because if it was a real concern they would already know the answer and not need to ask. I almost always have Cowboy with me and he is more the willing to have a conversation. For those of you looking for the answer, I am not going to answer it here. Instead I am going to share two experiences we had at the ice rink. Both days we went to the rink not knowing any one else.
We went up to the ice rink in the afternoon for Cowboy to get used to skating in his hockey gear and for me to practice my ice skating. When we arrived we were surprised to see a lot of families there. I asked one of the moms and she said it was homeschool skate day. I had no idea they even had a homeschool skate day but I was thrilled to find out there was.
I would say there were about 30 homeschool children at the rink from about 5 years up through 15 with a large concentration of 6-9 year olds. The 6-9 years all got along really well together and spent the time skating together. Cowboy showed two siblings how to skate since it was their first time ever out on the ice. At one point they formed a human chain and tried skating down the ice. It did not work out well but judging by the laughter it did not matter. The children did not stay together in one large group; instead they frequently skated in smaller groups of 2-4. These groups changed depending on various factors such as the speed of the skating and the conversation at the time. There was no ill will when the groups changed and no one was ever excluded. Cowboy was sad to see everyone leave and has asked me to make sure the next homeschool skate is on our calendar so we can come back.
The next day we went back to the ice rink. They were having a special extended session because several local school districts were out of school. There was about the same number of children on the ice and again a large number of 6-9 year olds. In the first few minutes I saw Cowboy talking with a few other children his age. They had never skated before and he had slowed to match their speed. He went around the rink a couple of times with them but then left them and spent the rest of the time skating alone. In less then an hour Cowboy asked to leave because he was not having fun. He had no one to skate with because the other children would not talk to him because they did not know him.
The most amazing difference between the two skating sessions happened whenever someone would fall. During the homeschool session if someone fell on the ice the nearest skaters would stop and make sure they were ok and help them up and encourage them to try again. During the public skate no one stopped and that person was pretty much on their own.
I love these two comparisons! I too had a similar experience at the zoo. One day my homeschooled son and I were invited to the zoo with a group of public school kids in the area. We did not know any of these children or parents. And we still don't! Not only would the kids have nothing to do with my son, but even the other parents tried their best to ignore my presence. It was very disconcerting.
ReplyDeleteFast forward to a month later, when my son and I were invited by a local homeschooling group to go to the zoo. As before, we knew none of these children or parents. But what a difference! It was a wonderful experience. My son was welcomed by these children and treated as a long lost friends. I was treated the same way. It was a big eye opener for me!
BTW- I'm so happy to discover your blog. I, too, am a single stay-at-home mother and am "unschooling" my son who has autism who just turned 8 last week. I also have a 3 year old boy. And I have Aspergers.